What If My Children Won’t Behave at a Family Photo Shoot?

If you’re worried that your baby might cry, your toddler might run around the studio, or your teenager might decide that having their photograph taken is the last thing they want to do, please don’t worry.

I’ve been photographing families for many years, and I certainly don’t expect everyone who walks into the studio to behave like a professional model, know how to pose, or smile perfectly on demand. In fact, I don’t really want that.

Children Behaving Like Children Is Completely Normal

Babies cry. Toddlers run around. Young children get distracted. Teenagers often aren’t especially enthusiastic about having photographs taken.

That’s real family life, and it’s absolutely fine.

One of the most common things parents worry about before a family photo shoot is whether their children will ‘behave’. They sometimes arrive apologising in advance because their toddler is lively, their baby hasn’t slept well, or their child simply doesn’t like being told what to do.

You really don’t need to apologise.

I actually love the challenge of photographing children with different personalities, because those personalities are exactly what I’m trying to capture.

What About Teenagers Who Really Don’t Want to Be There?

Teenagers deserve a special mention because they quite often arrive looking as though they’ve been dragged to the studio against their will. And, to be fair, sometimes they probably have!

The good news is that a session here isn’t like having a school photograph taken. We don’t take it too seriously, and we’re not trying to force teenagers into stiff poses with an unnatural smile aimed straight at the camera.

Just as with younger children, I want to get their real personality. That might mean looking cool, looking moody, laughing, looking thoughtful, or simply giving me the expression that feels like them at this particular age. The important thing is that the emotions look natural.

I remember photographing a family a couple of years ago where the teenage daughter really didn’t want to be there at all. For about the first 20 minutes she sat with her arms crossed and clearly wasn’t convinced by the whole idea.

Then I got her standing in the middle of the studio next to her brother. He gave her a little hip bump and pushed her to one side as a joke. She immediately did the same back to him. Of course, he retaliated, and within moments they were both laughing.

That completely changed the session. We went on to create some amazing photographs of the two of them and, by the end, she absolutely loved it.

That’s exactly why I don’t worry if a teenager walks in looking unimpressed. Sometimes you just need to give them space, stop trying too hard, and let a genuine moment happen.

Your Photo Shoot Isn’t About Perfect Smiles

Of course, we’ll usually get some lovely smiling photographs.

But I don’t believe a successful family photo shoot should simply be a collection of photographs where everyone is sitting perfectly still, looking straight at the camera and smiling.

The photographs that become really special are often the ones that show something about who your children actually were at that particular moment in their lives.

That might be a huge laugh. It might be a serious expression. It could be a cuddle, a funny look between siblings, a moment of deep concentration or even a little bit of mischief.

Those are often the pictures you’ll enjoy most when you look back at them years from now.

One of My Favourite Examples

I remember photographing a family a few years ago with a baby and his toddler brother. The little baby absolutely adored his big brother. The toddler, at that particular point in his life, really wasn’t quite so enthusiastic about his new baby brother!

I’m sure they’re great friends now, but at that moment their relationship was wonderfully obvious. We created a photograph where the two-year-old was looking rather grumpily towards his baby brother while the baby was looking straight back at him with this enormous, loving smile.

It was fantastic.

And that photograph tells a much better story than simply getting both children to look at me and smile. It captured exactly who they were at that little moment in their family’s life.

Crying, Mischief and Serious Faces Can Make Brilliant Photographs

Sometimes a baby crying can actually make a wonderful photograph. Sometimes a toddler completely ignoring their baby brother or sister makes a great picture.

They might poke them. They might kiss them. They might cuddle them. They might decide they want absolutely nothing to do with them.

That’s family life.

A good family photograph doesn’t always need to be traditionally ‘perfect’. It needs to make you feel something.

It might make you laugh. It might make you feel emotional. It might remind you of exactly what your child was like at that age.

And ultimately, that’s much more important.

Think About Looking Back in 20 Years

I often ask parents to imagine looking at these photographs in 20 years’ time.

What sort of photograph do you think you’ll treasure?

There will certainly be some lovely smiling pictures, but I can almost guarantee that the photographs which really stop you in your tracks will be the ones that remind you of your child’s personality.

I have a photograph of my own daughter taken more than 20 years ago. She was probably three or four years old at the time. She’s looking straight into the camera with a completely deadpan expression. There’s no big smile at all.

And yet there is something about that photograph that I find completely captivating. It has always been one of my favourite photographs of her. It captured her.

We Have Plenty of Time in the Studio

When you come to the studio, we don’t expect children to walk in, sit down and perform perfectly.

We have plenty of ways of getting them involved, helping them relax and encouraging natural interaction.

Sometimes we’ll play. Sometimes we’ll let them explore. Sometimes we’ll photograph the moments that happen in between the photographs you thought we were trying to create.

Those moments can often be the best ones. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is personality.

So What If My Children Don’t Behave?

That’s absolutely fine.

Please don’t arrive worrying that your child needs to be on their best behaviour for the whole photo shoot.

If they run around, laugh, pull faces, ignore us, cuddle each other, argue a little, get distracted or simply decide they’ve got their own ideas about what should happen next, we can work with it.

Family life isn’t perfect.

And strangely enough, when it comes to family photography, real life is often what creates the perfect photograph. So when you come in for your photo shoot, let’s have some fun, relax a little and see what happens.

If the children don’t do exactly what they’re told? All the better.